UGH! Don't you wish there were days when it was acceptable to zip up your face in public? Wouldn't that be awesome for everyone to have their own special face bag? Maybe in NYC where I grew up this might not seem so freakish but boy there are days when it would be nice to just zip it up and go on my merry way. Especially, back in the day when I had horrible cystic acne and it was picture day at school or when I was being treated for those painful red bumps with Retin-A and my poor little face was red and peeling off. HECK...Even these days when I think my face is looking a little more old and wrinkly. No need to face the world just break out the bag. HEE...HEE
I was thinking to myself the other day that I really have come a long way in my confidence level. Don't get me wrong, I am still harder on myself that I should be like most of us are. We are our own worst critics aren't we? NOTHING compares to my life as a teen. The acne was terrible. It seemed like it took forever for my face to fit with my enormous teeth and my style was just awkward. People tell me I was cute but I never felt PRETTY. For me it actually took a long time before I felt really good about myself. Even when I was modeling I often wondered why I got jobs that others, I thought were more attractive than I, didn't.
It sounds bizarre but it really wasn't until I was diagnosed with cancer that I really began to feel super confident. You might ask why considering I had a bilateral mastectomy and had to undergo some pretty crappy treatment that left me feeling not quite myself for a few years. But going through that made me appreciate what I thought I was lacking BEFORE the cancer. It would have been great if it didn't take a deadly disease to make me realize what really mattered.
Please don't think I walk around carefree with little concern about a crazy hair that popped up on my chin or some other odd thing my magnifying mirror alerts me to on a daily basis and I still can't WAIT to read all the new anti-aging treatments in New Beauty Magazine OR catch up on all the fun facts my beauty blogger friends have to dish daily. These things are girly, fun and frankly things I love in life. Sure, I still occasionally want to whip out the face bag and zip it up...but not all the way. Just enough to show the fabulous smoky eye I learned to perfect from watching a You Tube tutorial ;)